Black Sheep Coming Home
by Ffeona 'sarcasm-is-my-drug
Summary: ON HOLD ---- Seth and Ryan are older and more bitter seperated for years until one family function during which they cannot ignore each other. Slash story so be warned.
1. Seth Cohen 33

**Black Sheep Coming Home**

Pairing: Seth/other, Ryan/Seth. **Disclaimer**: naw I'm poor and not in anyway affiliated with the O.CSummery: Seth the black sheep of the Cohen branch has returned home to face horrors he has avoided for the last ten years A/N: apologies for any incorrections with either the O.C timeline or American culture as I'm English. (ergo: my spelling is English too) Nothing is as bad as it seems; relax there will be a happy ending.

**One: _Seth Cohen, 33 years old, druggie, cynic_**

Seth never thought this would happen. He'd left Newport for college with a smile on his face, excitement filling his heart, nostalgia in his soul, and sadness lingering in his eyes hidden by a pair of sunglasses.

Today, thirteen years later, he returns with resentment twisting his mouth around his fifth cigarette of the hour, hate pumping through his heart, bitterness festering in his soul, and the same sadness in brown eyes that no one could see due to the brand new designer sunglasses he wore everywhere.

Sadness for his mother and his father and his childhood, something he left behind long ago.

Drug abuse and alcohol overuse had etched lines prematurely around his mouth and eyes but dark brown curls that flopped into his eyes gave him a boyish look that the paparazzi loved to catch on camera. Another reason, other Than the blinding headaches the light gave him after a night partying, for wearing the blacked out glasses.

He was the newspapers 'black sheep'. Orange County Press particularly loved to gossip about the enigmatic Cohen boy, once so obsessed by comic books and Summer Roberts, made happy by sailing and playing on his PS2, now a well known movie critic and writer. He's been made immortal through the camera; stumbling home at four o'clock in the morning blind drunk, sleeping with an actress who wanted a good review, shacking up with his naïve twenty year old male assistant, buying drugs from infamous gangs, the failure of this two year old marriage and the supposed abortion that even Seth had no idea if it was real for just Lydia's way of getting back at him. Rehab. Visits to a psychologist for his depression although he'd maintained that drugs would see him fine. And his famous suicide attempt last Spring.

Yep. He was the black sheep.

Mom got over the alcoholic problems, raised another child (Sophie), and adopted two more troubled boys and a girl, two of them from Chino and another orphaned when his stepfather beat him mother to death. Dad continued as a lawyer, helping out those he came across and giving them chances they would otherwise never come across. Ryan became a part of the Newport Group and slowly but assuredly worked his way to the top and eventually on his thirtieth birthday he inherited a ten percent share in the company which Seth knew would increase to thirty upon Kirsten's death.

Kirsten's death.

Ugly words for the ugly reality Seth had found himself in upon a phone call ten hours ago.

**Two: _Seth Cohen, 23 years old, college graduate, fag_**

Seth had regularly come home during the first three years. It was what had happened on his last visit that changed him.

He had just graduated college and come home to celebrate with him family. Kirsten had stayed at home having to look after two year old Sophie who was ill, but Sandy had taped the ceremony and Ryan had been there graduating too. Mom had hugged and cried, and then Sophie had cried. They'd had a family meal of Thai takeaway and over the weekend a large party filled with friends and business associates. Summer had come, and Taylor Townsend and Anna had made it as well (during college Seth had hooked up with her, as a friend).

After too much wine and reminiscing, Seth found himself in the pool house with one of Ryan's current underlings; Simon Lang. College, Seth had discovered, was for experimentation. And right now Simon was being experimented on by Seth as he trailed kissed down Simon's nicely toned stomach and found his way to the other man's flies, grinning up at Simon who was breathing hard, his balled hands flexing by his sides, biting down on his lip so as not to cry out in pleasure. Seth hadn't known that as he swallowed Simon's hard length down his throat Ryan was watched from the door way, expression unreadable.

An hour later and Seth was cleaned up and circulating. He came across Ryan who motioned to the pool house. Seeing nothing unusual in this Seth followed and once they were inside Ryan turned on him, angry. Raging about 'how could he do that', about it being wrong and how Seth disgusted him. Ryan told Seth that they were not brothers just before coming at him with his fist. Shocked and hurt Seth took it all, even the surprising kiss that felt like punishment. They fucked, angrily and painful. Despite Ryan's assumptions, Seth had never fucked a guy before that night and it would be another five years before he could face it again. Seth wasn't exactly unwilling, Ryan was a gorgeous man with bronzed muscles, golden hair, and sky blue eyes and Seth had previously had a few embarrassing wet dreams about his best friend, careful never to tell Ryan by either action or words. But that night wasn't the thing dreams were made of, Seth was too stunned and confused and unset to fight back and always had a feeling that, back in his mind, he actually did want this… but not like that. Ryan, after he was finished pounding roughly into his friend, chucked his clothes on and turned back to Seth still lying on the bed in rumpled bed sheets and sweat, a hard glint in his eyes and said that he hated him and wanted nothing to do with the disgusting faggot.

Over the years Seth had tried to convince himself that it wasn't Ryan that night. That he'd dreamed up the drying cum on the bed clothes and the sound of Ryan's heavy panting breath in his ear. He'd made excuses for his 'friend', that Ryan was fighting true homosexual feelings for Seth because of how he'd seen Trey and other Chino kids treat gays and Ryan was just scared… But then Seth would sink back into a pit of depression and take too much Valium or take some Cocaine and land himself back in hospital. He continued in this cycle for two years before snapping himself out of it and taking control of his life, which incidentally had meant cutting Kirsten and Sandy out too.

Now it was too late.

**Three: _Seth Cohen, 33 years old, motherless, heartless_**

Watching as his mother's body was lowered into a hole in the ground was the hardest thing, including coming back to Orange County, that Seth had ever done. His father headed up the funeral, his eyes wet and his voice shaking as he told the mourners of how Kirsten was always giving, how she loved all five of her children equally, of how it was devastating that such a beautiful woman had died so young.

Sandy didn't look young. His thick dark hair was streaked liberally with grey and his face was heavily lined with stress more than age. His suit was a sombre black and pressed to perfection. Even though Seth sat on the back row and still had on his sunglasses he could see the despair in his father's eyes that screamed 'what am I gonna do without her'.

Summer came. With her husband, a banker and son of a self-made-man. They had two children, both of who were sitting on the second row between Summer and her father Dr Roberts. Jonathan was twelve and Cooper, the daughter, was eight years old. Seth wasn't sure if the love he saw in her eyes when she looked at Cameron was true love or love for his money. The fact he couldn't even tell anymore made Seth realise he was more cynical and jaded than even the most arrogant papers made him out to be.

They made their way inside, the Newpsie women went in groups of two and three to the ladies room in order to repair their make up and the men found their way to the bar. Quickly music was playing and people were circulating as if it were any other Newport function. It made Seth more than a little sick.

Eventually he made his way over to his father.

When Sandy clapped eyes on his son he did cry silent grateful tears and Seth let himself be hugged for the first time in years, but he didn't cry. If anything, his eyes felt too dry.

"It's good to see you son." Sandy said, his voice gruff and hoarse. Seth nodded and asked if his dad needed anything. "Just you." Was the reply which bound Seth to his grieving father's side for the rest of the evening, come hell or high water (whatever that meant) he would make up for the last tens years by being there for his dad now.

Of course this meant that eventually he had to come across Ryan.

**TBC: next chapter will be entitled: **

**_Ryan Atwood, 33 years old, Newport Group CEO, Cohen adoptee_**


	2. Ryan Cohen, 33

Black Sheet Coming Home (2)

_**Ryan Atwood, 33 years old, Newport Group CEO, Cohen adoptee**_

Ryan knew he had been lucky. Kirsten and Sandy and Seth had been the best thing that had ever happened to him. They got him out of Chino, out of trouble, and into a respectable safe life with friends and loved ones. He had gone to college but unlike Seth who seemed to bloom outside of the OC, Ryan returned to live near his adoptive parents despite their protesting that he did have to do it. One sentence shut them up, 'but I want to'. And soon he was just as successful as Caleb Nichols (but much less crooked) at running The Newport Group. He had a close relationship with his family including Sophie who had just celebrated her thirteenth birthday last week, and the adoptees Jack (fourteen), Carmel (eleven), and Sean (ten).

Not to say that he didn't have his fair share of regrets. He and Seth hadn't been the same since Seth had left Newport for college, Seth had been so excited so young and so naïve… Ryan knew he wasn't those things anymore. Not since they were twenty-three… Ryan knew everything about him though, followed newspapers and his career and his websites, he knew the gossip and could see the truth etched in Seth's darkened eyes. Drugs, sex, cigarettes.

Hell, Ryan's life had been boring in comparison to Seth's ten years at the top! Forget murder, teen pregnancy, adoption and abandonment, a girlfriend who attempted an overdose and went on to become an alcoholic shacked up with the town loser (Volchek) and finally go out in flames. Just another person who had left Ryan, maybe not of her own violation at least not that time. Ryan hadn't had many relationships since. He'd been with Taylor for a while, even proposed but then Seth had come home and shattered Ryan's beliefs without meaning to. After that Ryan only had one kind of relationship, the brief sexual kind that never impinged on his family life. Sandy, Kirsten, and the kids were his loves his life.

Until he came over for lunch and found Sandy sobbing over her body.

_**Ryan Atwood, 23 years old, college student, fiancé, brother, and son.**_

Ryan had been ecstatic to be home with the family AND Seth, it was like five Chrismukkah's rolled into one plus birthdays. Taylor hadn't been able to come which was both a pity and a relief as last week Ryan had proposed to her and presented a beautiful diamond ring to her. She had cried and embraced him with girlish glee, knocking him backwards onto the bed and… Ryan needed a cool drink!

But Seth wasn't the same anymore, he still loved comic books and babbling and hated Newpsies but something had changed in him. He was older, more sophisticated but un-varnished and… Ryan shook his head, he'd been obsessing over every little nuance and inflection of his words and realized he'd have to back off. Seth had grown up, it was bound to happen one day. Only then he saw Seth's face light up in an almost predatory grin as a Newport employee (Simon something-or-other) followed him in the pool house. Ryan, curiousity peeked to new levels, slipped away from the part and went after them. What he saw froze him in his tracks.

It was beautiful and disgusting at the same time. Something Ryan had seen before on the alleyways of Chino and knew it was quite profitable it you knew the right (or rather wrong) people. The fact that Seth was choosing this was something Ryan could almost not believe. Ryan watched like a voyeur as Seth kissed Simon on the mouth, hungrily and passionately, before abruptly breaking off and sliding down Simon's body pressing his lips to the man's torso and finally reaching his pants which Seth disposed of with an ease that made Ryan realize this wasn't his first time. The way Seth engulfed the man's erect cock confirmed Ryan's suspicions and Ryan found himself leaning against the door frame horny and sick to his stomach. He didn't know if he could deal with this.

Oh Seth, how could you…

The next hour or so is a blur for Ryan. He remembers screaming that Seth was a dirty fag and then breaking down and asking why he didn't tell him, and the next minute Ryan was kissing him hard like a dying man searching for oxygen. Nothing mattered as long as Ryan could block out the pain with the feel of Seth's supple body. He tore Seth's clothes from his back and found some hand cream Kirsten had made him keep in the pool house and squirted it up Seth's hole. For the first time Seth started to really struggle, "Ryan, stop! I don't… I haven't… this isn't funny! Quit it!" Ryan was in a rage of lust and rolled he protesting man over, trying his best to be gentle and soon he was unable to block out the realization that this felt better than the kinkiest dirties most playful, hottest sex he had ever had and Taylor was all those things and more.

Afterwards when they were both sweaty and spent Ryan got off Seth and dressed, refusing to reach his 'brother's' eyes as he repeated that Seth was just some dirty fag he didn't want in his life and left.

Truth was, Ryan was just scared that if Seth was around he'd give in to his feelings because Ryan had seen what became of fags in Chino, they didn't last very long before they were rent boys or a bloody mess on the street.

Ryan would die before being a part of Seth becoming like those people.

_**Ryan Atwood, 33 years old, son, Newport Group CEO, brother of three, lonely.**_

Ryan circulated but when Seth arrived he was in the old guest room playing games with the kids, who weren't really children anymore or so they assured him, trying to distract them from the bleak reality. Ryan could feel Seth. It was unnatural but comforting.

Their eyes never met during he funeral, Ryan stood on the other side of Sandy with Sophie pressed into his side, Jack standing stiff with his hand buried in Carmel's and his arm around a whimpering Sean. Sean was gay. Ryan knew this even though he doubted Sean did and he was okay with this. He'd had ten years to accept himself. He'd never needed to accept Seth, it had just come naturally to him.

Afterwards Ryan carried a passed out Carmel to her room with Sophie, who was so much like her mother, composed and grieving, who had the bed next to Carmel's. Sean admitted he didn't want to leave the girls so Ryan fetched a blanket for the pull out sofa bed that Kirsten had insisted they install after Carmel came to them. Some days she would sneak in and sleep there, or just sit on the sofa watching her beautiful children. Jack, however, wanted to go downstairs. Later on Ryan would find him sobbing angrily at the bottom on the estate, a picture of Kirsten in his hand.

But for now Ryan made his way downstairs, asking Rosa to keep an eye on the kids. She nodded through tears and disappeared to the bathroom. _Those poor kids_. They were so young, had lost so much already in their sort lives. They didn't deserve this. Not that anyone did.

Ryan found Seth with his father and waited until they parted, Sandy soon enveloped by a group of Newpsies with their false sympathies and sweet nothings. Seth shied away to the shadows and found his way to the Pool house. Ryan had recently moved back in their and it was full of his adult belongings. Seth was lighting up with shaking hands and Ryan wished with all the parts of his shattered heart that he could tell if those beautiful hands were shaking because he was grieving so much or because he hadn't had a fix recently.

"I'm sorry, Seth." Ryan said, his hand on Seth's shoulder. Seth lookedat him and coldly shrugged it off before stepping back.

"She was your mother too." Seth said.

"No." Ryan bit out. "I'm sorry about what happened when we were twenty-three."

Seth winced. "Yeah well, you know what Ryan, so am I."

((Am already working on the next part! Tell me what youthink, I think Ryan's a bit too ooc but what about the story!!!)

THANK YOU:

random-laughter ; yes it was always my intention to continue. And I did thanks you all the people you commented and favorite-d!

tuRtl3bOy ; thank you 

Embry ; thank you. I enjoyed Seth's character. He was never actually explored as a dark character in the series unlike all the others.

Kissmetillthemorninglight ; don't worry, you'll be seeing more of how Ryan feel about the new seth. I just had to get through this bit first.

Ame ; you idiot. 'this sucks, Seth is not gay' is a very idiot thing to say. This is a slash story. It's fictional. So is Seth. And did you know that originally Seth and Ryan would have been gay together? Or so I am informed by a very reliable source. But the network/writers/producers felt it was too much of a risk.

Movies are our business ; you can read more now. Thank you for your comment.

Bobbymcfoogle ; thank you!!!!!!! Proper grammar is because I wrote it first on Microsoft Word but mostly because I can be bothered. I hate it when people use text language or just not using proper grammar in general.

Dizzy D ; in truth you commented on something else but you mentioned this story. So thank you. It was your comment that inspired me this morning. There is more coming. Thank you. And thanks for saying I'm a great writer!   !!


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